When women (or black men) walk alone...

During SXSW, I was walking alone to get back to my car. I passed two men talking, and after passing them, I noticed that they were walking behind me.

If I were a man in this situation I probably wouldn't have taken notice, or even if I did, I probably wouldn't have thought anything of it. 

But I am a woman. And instantly, I become uber alert to my surroundings, I get on my phone, try to call my boyfriend so that if they took me, someone would know. 

I don't remember what ethnicity these gentleman were. I never looked them straight in the face. Would it matter?

My professor has been sending out links and articles about the Trayvon Shooting. On top of these readings, NPR has had many programs this week focusing on this incident. Two of these programs really got to me. 

The Beauty Shop Ladies on Tell Me More

http://www.npr.org/2012/03/21/149067361/does-ethnicity-of-trayvon-martins-killer-matter

(Mary) MITCHELL: Well, you know, what really strikes me about this is that to me this is a huge moment for mainstream media. I mean, as a journalist for a major newspaper, I can tell you that when I looked at this story, I had to find it on the Internet. I had to find it through Facebook, and Facebook friends, people who tweet, and all of that, they were behind driving this story and getting it attention.

But now let me - I've got to tell you, when I think about it, I wonder why when on a story like this, people come out and they'll share and they'll talk about in their outrage that this 17 year old was killed, when I'm living in a city where nine people died over the weekend. Nine - 46 people shot, one of the victims was a 6 year old girl. And you never see that kind of outrage. You don't see petitions. You don't see anything driving that story.

So I'll go back to what an old friend used to say that a black - a young black man isn't dead until a white man kills him. And that's kind of the race element in this story. This is the reason why the accused family came out and said, oh, wait a minute, he's not white, he's Hispanic.

This is a really interesting perspective that I hadn't thought about. But, I have to ask Mitchell, is it not more important because of the underlying race issue? It's difficult to say. What are y'alls thoughts?

The Barbershop Boys on Tell Me More

http://www.npr.org/2012/03/23/149222911/barbershop-guys-take-on-trayvon-martin

The segment of the conversation that got to me was hearing these men tell stories about their "right of passage."

DADE: Yeah, no, not at all. But what's interesting is, we, as young black men, when we're taught these nevers that I talk about – never leave the store with your item without a shopping bag, never loiter outside anywhere, you could be just setting yourself up to be a target of police. But also, the underlying thing about all of that is that we, as young black men, have to control for other people's hang-ups. We have to alter our behavior just to accommodate, essentially, somebody else's issues. And that's the part that's galling.

MARTIN: Well, you know, Corey, the thing I found – the thing I liked about your piece is that you talked about something that a lot of people are talking about which is the talk. And I remember distinctly my parents giving – my father, particularly, giving my younger brother the talk. And I remember just sitting there, being kind of, really, not even at that age really understanding what was going on, and my father sitting my brother down. At that age, the talk was even – was not just about the police, it was like, don't stand too close to a white woman in the elevator, don't stand too close to a white woman on the sidewalk, that kind of thing. And I'm thinking, why is my father telling my little brother this, who was maybe 12 at the time? And you kind of brought up this business of the talk. And I've seen like people like Marian Wright Edelman, the distinguished, you know, social activist and human rights activist and attorney, talking about giving her sons the talk.
DADE: Mm-hmm. Sure.
MARTIN: So - I don't know. Corey, if you want to talk a little bit more about that.
DADE: Yeah. It's a rite of passage, quite frankly. I don't know a black man anywhere in my experience as a reporter, as an individual citizen who did not get this talk - who has parents - who did not get this talk. I was - it's funny you say that, Michel. I was talking to my sister after I wrote this story and she said I didn't know they told you all that. I mean that just gets to how specific it is, she didn't get the same lessons that I got. And we know why, because as a young black man this is what happens. And so, you know, it just if this didn't this kind of thing didn't keep happening we wouldn't be continuing to get this talk from our parents. And in the last couple of days, the thing that's been moving to me is how many people on my Facebook page, on Twitter, through Comments on NPR.org, the story, how many people are remembering.

Tying my story together with these two clips- When I am walking alone, I am aware that I am a woman. I am aware that men are "stronger" than me and can pose a threat to my well-being. Does it matter if they are black, white, hispanic or asian? For me, maybe it does. When there are rapes or killings, often times the ones that catch the medias attention involve black men. Plus rap music tends to promote men as being powerful over women, as well as guns and violence and what not. 

These feelings I have concern me. My heart broke listening to these men tell how they had to be taught these "unspoken" rules. But my feelings may be continuing this cycle.

And then here is Trayvon, an innocent black boy shot by a white (or hispanic) man.

How I see it- the driving force here is fear. Speaking in a big generalization: white women fear black men, black men fear white men and really all are fearing each other.